...Do You Have Anything About Helicopters?

Let me clue you in on the type of clientèle I encounter at when I'm at work (used book store). Little kids. Little kids who want the most obscure things that we can't possibly have a section for. There really is so much I can do. And only so many questions I could answer.

There have been these little kids who've been approaching and re-approaching the counter for the past hour or so. Collectively, they've already asked me hundreds of questions. I've had to tackle questions like:

• Do you have any Junie B. Jones books? In Spanish?
  
• Where is your Stone Cold Steve Austin section?
• Helicopters?
• I want to read a book about sharks...?

I kind of wish they'd ask me something I know. Books with chapters, general non-fiction, Sesame Street. No. Instead, I'm still dealing with:

• How come I can't open the door to the bathroom?
• Do you have any Bionicle books?
  
• I want a book about Call of Duty...?
  

Argh. I'm just pointing to the children's room/child-hurricane center. I can give answers to all these questions if only I knew where to find them. Plus these monsters always leave an ungodly mess behind. As of now I think I have to reshelve about half the store because it's been transferred from one side to the other by their little sticky sugar hands. It seems like kids' hands can never escape sugar. It's like they all eat cotton candy right before they enter the book store. I've come to expect this family every other week. That's exactly how often I'm supposed to deal with this crap. But they spend the most money than any other customer in that biweekly span. So, I guess I shouldn't complain.

...Ay, but I can't help it. The family just left...a HUGE MESS EVERYWHERE. Then I had to deal with the mom and her kids who tried to swindle me out of a few dollars by replacing price stickers, "finding" books in the discount box, and a very pushy discount negotiation. Hint: Barnes and Noble we are not, but we sell nice books at HALF the cover price. Would it be possible to go up to a B&N associate and ask for a 50% discount on a book? Pssh! Heck no. You can sign up for their club, pay $25 and then get a minuscule discount. She squeezed my soul for 10% off. I gave it to her just so I wouldn't have to see her for two more weeks. That's mean, I know, I'm sorry. They purchased over a hundred dollars' worth of books, anyway, so cool, I guess. Now I have to clean up after them. Whoopee.

It's times like these where I hope that other job works out for me. I'm getting too tired of this, this...bookery. I'm dying for something real.